It's All About Astrology - Inspirational Individuals

Every Mother's Nightmare
An Interview with Laura Harris
By Linda Furiate
March 2003

Just days before his death, David was sitting with his mother inside of her car, parked in their driveway. She was asking him what he was going to do with his life. Laura desperately wanted to help her younger son. Although up to this point in David's life, his relationship with his mother had always been one of conflict. As David sat in the car that October day, he expressed to his mother how he needed help and how he felt trapped. He said it felt as though he had no where to go. David had been in and out of drug rehab numerous times in his short life. The thought of going back was unimaginable. "Mom, I have been in rehab too many times and the food is horrible", David agitatedly uttered.

In that brief conversation David's mother expressed the need for him to call out to God. Laura having turned her life over to Jesus a few years earlier wanted David to know the help he desired was available and that he did not need to feel trapped. "Mom, this is the first time in my life I actually believe all of the things that you have told me for the past five years. I know they are true. I know there is a presence of evil that is so strong and I know there is a Jesus". His focused slowly turned to not wanting to go back into rehab and then on to some thing else. David thanked his mother told her he loved her and stepped out of the car. That was to be the last conversation Laura would ever have with her 20 year old son.

Laura Harris has replayed that conversation with David over and over in her head wondering what she may have said to get him to open up, to be more communicative of his truer feelings. David's use of drugs dated back to the time he was 13 years old. His use of marijuana quickly turned into his use of cocaine. Early on it was easy for him to get drugs. He was lured into the glamour of smoking pot by his father; a man who never really grew out of his teenage and college years, feeling that getting high was no big deal. But dealing with someone so young, one that demonstrates an addictive personally coupled by the depression of seeing his parents divorce, smoking pot was a big deal.

In the year and a half since his death, Laura continues to reflect upon the nightmare of David's short life. When he was twelve years old his parents divorced. Initially David was spending a lot of time living with his mother. Through time he and his older brother, Danny, found themselves wanting to be with Dad more and more. Drawn to Dad's financial availability to afford video games, televisions, a bigger yard, more freedoms, and mostly the access to marijuana, the boys believed living at Dad's was the place to be.

By age fifteen David's drug problem was out of control. He was living recklessly with no regard for those around him. His agitated moods progressed as his drug use increased. He wanted more and more. Often times David would return to his Mom's house after a weekend with Dad, literally in tears. So many promises broken by the only man he wanted to love and admire. Dad's promises of money, taking him to certain places or just hanging out with him inconsistently materialized. David was not always certain when or how his father would be available. He also saw his dad spending more time with his older brother. He was feeling left out and unloved. He questioned what he was doing wrong and why did not he measure up to the level of his older brother.

David could verbalize his thoughts of what he saw going on around him. In fact, he spoke to his mother about this quite often. He just could not display the appropriate actions. Instead of talking to his father about how he was feeling he became angry or violent and turned to drugs. Often times he would hold his feelings in, causing an even deeper depression and greater heartache. All he wanted to do was the right thing, but didn't know how. He did not know how to be the son his father wanted.

As sick as it sounds David and his dad at times did have a buddy system going on. When David was home with his Dad smoking pot things were good. He felt like he belonged and all of his problems began to erase during those moments of being stoned. The marijuana was a cover up for his feelings of fear, depression, anxiety and the rejection he felt from his dad. Other times getting high was an escape from hearing the name calling from his father, telling him he was stupid and unimportant.

Eventually David's intensive need for drugs found him self part of the legal system. His out of control behavior had escalated as did his use of drugs. One day he and a friend decided they needed some cash to buy more drugs. David stole a check from his mother's purse and cashed it for $900.00. Laura called police hoping she could finally get David the help he needed to curb his powerful addiction.

In some ways this was the beginning of the long journey David would not allow himself to end, until it ended for him.

Linda Furiate- It's been over one year since David died. What is life like for you now living with the pain of his lose?

Laura Harris- Every day is hard, some days harder than others. Losing a child far exceeds any pain a mother can go through. You have your own pain and then there is the hurting of those around you. My belief in God, my love for Jesus and my incredible support system of family and friends comforts the emotional pain. David's older brother, Danny, is having a hard time with his lose. He was in a transitional period in his life. He had just married and had a baby prior to his death. Fortunately, David was able to meet the baby. This has also had a big impact on Danny's wife. She recently said the man she married is not the man she is married to today. People react to pain in a multiple of ways. Some believe that if there is a God, why must these sorts of things have to happen?

LF- What was David like as a child?

LH- David was very outgoing and always strong-willed. He was full of personality and energy. He was funny; he was bright and loved the outdoors, especially the ocean. He was into surfing, soccer and was on the wrestling team at school.

LF- How did the breakup of you and his father affect him?

LH- It was very hard on him. His father and I shared joint custody of the boys and initially David was living with me. His dad started to tell the boys things to manipulate them. He could afford to buy them more things and allowed them to use marijuana. The boys were a pawn and caught in the middle of our fighting.

LF- Describe David's time in treatment?

LH- At age 15, after David and his friend stole a check of mine and cashed it for $900.00 he was arrested. As a result of this he was in the county detention center, became part of the Juvenile Justice system and had to report to a probation officer. He was placed on house arrest for the check cashing incident. He violated his probation by breaking house arrest and was ordered to Noise, a lock-down drug treatment facility. Later he went to the Oakview Treatment Facility in Ellicott City where he met Mike Green, a counselor he could really relate to. His probation officer thought David had one of the most severe drug problems he had ever seen. He pushed for the maximum amount of time of three months.

David also spent thirty days at the Jackson Unit within the Finan Center, another lock-down treatment facility in Western Maryland. When David got out of the Jackson Unit he went straight to the Phoenix School in Gaithersburg. He spent a year at Phoenix before finally returning to his home school. He was excited to be back at his normal school which also meant he could try out for the wrestling team. Before he could finish the school year, David had relapsed once again and was expelled from high school for selling marijuana.

David never graduated from high school and also never went back into rehab.

LF- How did you learn of David's death?

LH- I learned of David's death through a friend I have known for about ten years. Her son, Josh, knew David. Recently they had moved to Florida. One of the boys who had been in the house where David was killed called Josh. He did not actually see the killing, but over heard the gunshots. I am not sure if this boy from the house ever went to the police, but my friend told him to do so. She then called me advising of the phone call Josh received, telling me I needed to call the police.

LF- Describe the details from what you heard or have been able to put together that lead to David's death?

LH- I want to let you know that all of these details are documented in Court records as a result of the trial. From what I understand of what led to David's demise was David's father, John, had a friend named Jim staying with him at the house. Jim had about $30,000 worth of marijuana in the house that he brought up from Florida. Somehow David got a hold of the marijuana. David took all of it to Bobby Foard's house, a known drug haven in Montgomery County. He had known Bobby for about six months. Apparently David wanted to sell the marijuana to make some money.

In the meantime, I received a call from John saying that there was money missing from the house and asked if I knew where David was. I had no idea where he was at the time. Jim was getting frantic because he owed all this money for the marijuana and needed to get his suppliers paid. Some how David's dad got a hold of him via the phone and told him to bring the marijuana back, otherwise he would owe all this money.

David starting calling Bobby Foard's house demanding that he give him back his pot or the money. Bobby kept telling him he didn't have it. Apparently one of the boys who had been in the house stole the pot from Bobby, although David was not aware of this. I don't really know how threatening those telephone calls to Bobby were. While hanging out at a local pub, two of the kids who regularly stayed at the house supposedly over heard Bobby saying "I just need to kill him". Apparently based on David's frame of mind and threatening calls, Bobby thought that David might kill him. Some time before all of this went down Bobby had purchased a gun.

David shows up at the house, Bobby and about seven or eight other boys were there. According to statements made at the trial, there was no fight, no violence, nothing. Bobby acknowledged David and then left the room. He went outside for a moment, came back in the house and began to shoot my son. There was no big altercation. Bobby shot David twice, neither bullet killing him. David looked up at Bobby and pleaded for his life. Bobby proceeded to shoot him with another four bullets finally killing him.

No one in the house immediately went to the police. When I finally received the call from my friend in Florida the next day, I called the police. Up to this point there was no body because a couple of the boys in the house tried to cover it up and hid David. It took the police days to find my son. In those few days, I never gave up the hope that David may still be alive.

LF- What happened to Bobby Foard?

LH- Bobby Foard is in jail serving a 25 year sentence for murder. He is also serving a 25 year sentence for a handgun charge. He is eligible for parole in 12 years. This case never went to a formal trial. Bobby's attorney plea bargained convincing him to plead guilty and the State would charge him with second degree murder, instead of a pre-meditated first degree charge of murder.

By the time the trial started, Bobby had already served a year in prison. Bobby's attorney tried to portray him as a really nice guy and saying how he felt sorrow and remorse for the family in Montgomery County. Counselors who were hired on Bobby's behalf were saying that Bobby had emotional problems and that he was not in total in control of his actions.

The bottom line is that Bobby Foard cold bloodedly and calculatingly killed my son, even while David pleaded for his life. David had no weapons on him when he went back to the house. He was not a threat to Bobby or anyone else. With all of the bad things David may have done prior to that moment, and all of the threatening calls he may have made to Bobby on his last day, he did not deserve to die.

LF- What do you feel you could have done differently with David to potentially prevent him from driving to Ashton that fatal night?

LH- I don't know, you always think this may have worked or maybe that, but then again you never know.

LF- Okay, then what would you have liked to have done differently?

LH- I should have followed through with some of the advice that was given to me by David's counselors, Dave Levin. He wanted my son to go to a lock-down treatment facility in Florida for nine months. At the time the cost of $30-40,000 was financially prohibitive. His father was totally against the idea. I did not have the money, but I wish I would have made more of a case with David's paternal grandparents who could afford to send him there.

Another thing I would have liked to have done differently was to see David back on the wrestling team at school. One of his biggest passions was wrestling. When he got out of the Phoenix School, an in-patient drug rehab in Montgomery County his goal was to get back on the wrestling team. David's counselor at Phoenix said he had done better than any kid he had seen go through the program in the last fifteen years. He tried out for the team once back in his home school. He was only back a month before he was caught with marijuana again. David was expelled and never graduated from high school.

I have always believed in spirituality and turned my life over to Jesus about five years before David died. I would have liked to have raised David in an environment with a reason for the morality of God and a higher power. Also, to let him know that there is someone who loves him that God loves him and that he is a person who is valued by God. I would have given him more of a relationship with God. I don't know if he would still have had the struggles with drug addiction, but it could have provided a foundation.

LF- What if anything, are you doing with your life to help others from encountering this same negative situation?

LH- I believe David could have changed his life and had an impact on some of the kids around him. I have heard many of the boys that he knew say they feel trapped, just as David did in my last conversation with him. Many of these boys feel such a sense of hopelessness about their lives. I would like to come across to these youth to let them know that there is help. They do not need to feel trapped. I want to let them know they are so valuable to themselves and to those around them. To let these children know that God created them for a purpose, that they have a destiny and there is hope. I want to tell them about Jesus. I want to let the youth of today know there is a life of freedom, peace and joy out there and that if they had to sum up their whole life, they wouldn't say "I feel trapped". I want to help kids avoid the final tragedy David ultimately faced.

LF- What is the greatest lesson you learned from having David in your life?

LH- I realize how valuable life is and what a gift children are. We never know how many lives we touch and hearts we may break when we are no longer here. David will never know how many lives he has impacted since his death.

LF- Where is David now in your life?

LH- David is in heaven. He is in my heart now and through eternity.

LF- Laura, you are the artist, if you had to draw a picture of where David is now in your life, what would that picture look like?

LH- A big heart - the heart of God, my heart and David's heart inside of mine.

LF- Laura, thank you for sharing David with me. His life was not lived in vain. I pray that someone who may read his story will be touched by these words and seek the help and guidance they are searching for.

I heard about David at a fund raiser that was given for a few local politicians who were running for the lieutenant governor, state senate and county executive's offices. Toward the end of the evening I was thanking the hostess for inviting us into her lovely home. She asked me what kind of work that I did. I told her of my work with an adolescent drug and alcohol addictions center and mentioned my writing. She proceeded to tell me of a dear friend of hers whose son had recently been murdered as a result of a drug deal gone wrong. I felt so drawn to this story. I often wonder if it's because this country has such an explosion of drug abuse and stories like these need to be told. Or is it because I have a 17 year old son who may be exposed to the pressures of drug use and comes from a family with known addictions? Or maybe I was drawn to David, as I found out while interviewing Laura, that he was killed on my birthday.

David, may you live in the hearts of many as a way to help heal our youth.